Stay aware and stay safe
in
the online dating game.
Is online
dating safe?
Dating
someone you met through an online dating site on the Internet is no different
to dating anyone new, that you don't really know yet. The same common sense
steps should be observed. It's worth remembering that not everyone's who or
what they might first appear ~ that's as true of anyone you meet in a bar, a
nightclub or a shop, so why should online dating sites be any different than
the rest of life?
Here at Cuddles Dating we want all our friends,
visitors and users of our services to enjoy their dating experiences and to
stay safe, so here are a few basic tips and reminders to help you.
1.
Start Slowly Give yourself a chance to get to know something about the
other person, don't let enthusiasm and eagerness rush you into anything. Start
by communicating via email or if the dating site has the facility you can use
their internal message facility. Remember, if they sound too good to be true,
then they probably are!
2. Stay Private
Use a free email service such as yahoo or hotmail with a funny handle ~ never
include your name in your email address. Whilst you may have to indicate what
area you are from don't give out your home address, phone number or place of
work in the early days. Remember, you may still decide that this is not the
person for you as you learn more about them so don't make it easy for them to
track you down and pester you. Take all the time you need to feel comfortable
enough with someone before you reveal any personal details. Stop communicating
with anyone who tries to pressure you into revealing this information before
you are ready.
3. Check them out for
your peace of mind Sure they're cute, but do you really know them? If you
feel the least bit unsure then check them out. There is a useful little
software tool that will do this for you, compared with your continued safety it
costs peanuts and once you have it you can use it over and over again if you
wish. More info.
4. Get a picture
An up to date photograph can give you a good idea of what the other person
looks like. Be wary of overly explicit or revealing photos unless you are
particularly looking for dates of a sexual nature and that's what you
requested. If you meet and they don't resemble their picture its time for the
warning bells and time to get out of there.
5. Talk on the
phone It's a good idea to speak to the other person on the phone before you
finally agree to meet up with them. Emails are great because you get to think
what you are going to say before you type it, you also get the chance to
correct it and polish it before you send it but a phone call is different.
Phone conversations are instant answers, no time to think. A phone call can
reveal much more about the real person and the person's communication skills.
Call them using a cell phone or block your phone id if you still feel
uncomfortable about revealing your private number.
6. Look for
inconsistencies and warning signs Listen to what the other person has to
say, don't be too busy talking about you all the time. Listen for inconsistent
answers ~ do they say the same thing as they disclosed in their emails
regarding likes, dislikes, job etc. Discrepancies may be the first signs that
they are not who they claim to be, or even worse, married! Pay attention to
displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you.
Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags.
You
should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following behavior without
providing an acceptable explanation:
- Provides inconsistent
information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession,
employment, etc.
- Refuses to speak to
you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
- Fails to provide
direct answers to direct questions.
- Appears significantly
different in person from his or her online persona.
- Never introduces you
to their friends, work colleagues or family members.
If the warning bells
sound; bail out.
7. Meet in public
It's a good idea to make the first few meetings in public places with lots of
other people around where you feel safe and secure. If possible make the first
meet in the daytime rather than at night. Use your own means of transport,
don't arrange for your date to pick you up ~ remember you may want to bail out
and make a hasty retreat.
8. Tell a friend where
you are going Let other people know about your meeting, let them have
details of the person you are meeting including their phone number. Tell them
where you are going and what time you expect to be back. If these plans change,
let them know, also let them know when you return home. Alternatively arrange
to take a friend along on the first date and get your date to do the same.
9. Take a phone with
you Make sure you have a fully charged cell phone (with credit on it) with
you. If things start to become uncomfortable visit the bathroom and call a
friend for help or advice. Alternatively you can pre-arange for a friend to
call you at an agreed time - you can use this call as an excuse for having to
leave early if you need to.
10. Stay in
control Stay in control, don't let your heart rule your head. Don't try too
hard to make love happen. Let it happen naturally be allowing each other's
friendship to bloom into romance and love. Don't be pressured into doing
anything that you feel uncomfortable with. If you find yourself under
unreasonable pressure; simply walk away… Your safety is far more important
that anyone's embarrassment.
11. Enjoy The most
important thing; try to enjoy this journey of discovery ~ don't get hung up on
what might or might not happen ~ learn all you can about this new person, what
are their likes, their dislikes, what makes them happy, what makes them sad.
Just stay aware, a little caution will reduce any risk in these matters of the
heart. |
